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VIEWING 1 - 8 OUT OF 8 BLOGS.
The cow
DATE: 07/23/2007 07:02:24 / MOOD: in love
The only cow in a small town in Russia stopped giving milk.
The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from
Moscow for 2,000 rubles, or one from Minsk for 1,000 rubles.
Being frugal, they bought the cow from Minsk.
The cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all the time, and the
people were amazed and very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more
cows like it. Then they would never have to worry about the milk supply
again.
They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved cow.
However, whenever the bull came close to the cow, the cow would move away.
No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the
bull and he could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very
wise, what to do. They told the rabbi what was happening.
"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches
from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she
backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other
side."
The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, "Did you buy this
cow from Minsk?"
The people were dumbfounded, since they had never mentioned where they
had gotten the cow.
"You are truly a wise rabbi," they said.
"How did you know we got the cow from Minsk?"
The rabbi answered sadly,
"My wife is from Minsk . . ."
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Mathematical Viewpoint
DATE: 07/22/2007 13:13:33 / MOOD: other
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the BullshiT and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
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computer symbols
DATE: 07/21/2007 09:04:02 / MOOD: other
We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:
:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by
:-)
:-(
Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"
Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass
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Piritanu Kabbo
DATE: 07/21/2007 09:02:37 / MOOD: in love
valobashi ai kotha
mene neo lima
naile kintu fhatabo
attoghati boma
****************************
Liza tomai amar ridhoy
diesilam lease
age noi bujhesi akhon
tumi kothain chizz
****************************
shokhi jotona chinite
koresinu prem-
akhon tai ontore
dukkho-bethar jam
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Shudui Tomar Jonno..:(
DATE: 07/21/2007 08:59:31 / MOOD: in love
Jokhon tokhon mon-ta shudu
tomar kotha koite chai..:D
tumi jotoi jhari deo...:(
nirobe shob shoite chai...:D
****************************
****************************
Shunbo na r shashon baron
tomar haat dhorbo aj-....:D
tomar brotherashuk tere...:S
tar shathei lorbo aj...:D :S
****************************
****************************
premer khatai naam likhie
hoesi j ashami...:(
life-a kisui pelam nato
khelam shudui bash ami...:( :(( :((
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The Picture on the Nightstand
DATE: 07/21/2007 08:55:58 / MOOD: in love
THE PICTURE ON THE NIGHTSTAND
After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.
"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.
"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.
"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires,
hoping to be reassured.
"No, no, no!!!" she answers.
"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.
"That's me before the surgery."
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the loyal wife...
DATE: 07/21/2007 08:49:39 / MOOD: other
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side.........You know what?"
"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck, get the hell away from me!"
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Men & Women - the differences
DATE: 07/21/2007 00:07:04 / MOOD: other
If men vacuumed...
He said . . .. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've
got nothing to put in it. She said .. . You wear pants don't you?
He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa.
He said . . .. What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you?
She said . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
On a wall in a ladies room . .. "My husband follows
me everywhere" Written just below it . " I do not"
Q.How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the
world does it take to do the dishes?
A.Both of them.
Q.How does a man show that he is planning for the
future?
A.He buys two cases of beer.
Q.What is the difference between men and government
bonds?
A.The bonds mature.
Q..Why are blonde jokes so short?
A.So men can remember them.
QHow many men does it take to change a roll of
toilet paper?
A.We don't know; it has never happened.
Q.What do you call a woman who knows where her
husband is every night?
A.. A widow.
Q.Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge
and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in
bed and go to the fridge.
Q.What is the one thing that all men at singles bars
have in common?
A.They're married.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so
beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so
dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."
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